This waiting business really is doing my head in.
And I'm not sure why - after all, my due date is next Friday, yet still I feel like I am going slightly mad, always thinking "ooh, is that a contraction?", "maybe tomorrow is the big day?".
There are probably a couple of reasons for this. Firstly, my little boy was born at 36 weeks. Because of this, I have had the hospital bags packed since 35 weeks. They are beginning to gather dust!
Also, I'm one of those people who often gets caught up in superstitions, signs from the universe etc, etc. One of the things that we have going on in our family is that almost all of us are born on someone else's birthday. And certainly E arrived on my cousin's birthday.
Today is my Nan's birthday. So naturally I have been over-aware of every twinge and ache. Nothin'.
But that's OK because I know that Monday was the date E was due (so kind of a birthday!) and the 26th is my brother's birthday. Oh, and if Little One arrives on the 28th it will be making an appearance on its own due date. Now wouldn't that be something?!
The phone calls, text messages etc saying "so have you had this baby yet?" are picking up in number ... which is a tad frustrating!
In fact, frustration is a bit of a dominant theme over here. Yesterday and today E has been at preschool and so I have had what are probably the last few days of PEACE to myself. You think I have been able to savour and enjoy them?
No. I have been grumpy, frustrated with everything and crying my eyes out. For no reason at all. I guess it's like a mega dose of PMT - I figure I am broiling in some pretty toxic hormonal soup at present ... and it's not pleasant.
The more teary and grumpy I get the angrier I get at myself for not "making the most" of this time.
Thinking logically, the longer this baby stays in the better: more chance for me to get some sleep; a couple more days of (relative) peace with just one kid, not a kid and a newborn.
But there's some part deep within me that says "enough - let's do this SOON" ... (possibly the part of me that doesn't want a caesar!).