Last night I attended my very first (if you don't count a couple of childhood tap/jazz/ballet lessons) dance class. Not strictly a dance class, but Latin American Dance Fitness, which is about as close as I am ever going to get.
I saw the flyer the other day and it's at a big sports/community centre a few minutes from my house, casual classes, all levels welcome, $12 a pop.
Why not, I thought...
Erm, I now know why not.
I've just been to the dance company's website, and here's the woman who took my class:
And she was wearing about that much.
If I had abs like that, I suspect I'd be getting about in spangles too.
Anyhow, I thought this class would have more of an emphasis on 'fitness' than dance, but turns out ... no.
So here we are in a room with FULL LENGTH MIRRORS ... I mean, there the horror begins. I know I am hopeless and moving all the wrong bits but do I need to see that as well?? It doesn't help. It would be far better if we all just looked at the teacher and copied her moves.
We start with a big of kind of bumping and grinding the hips.
So far, so good.
We have to do some steps with a little hip wiggle thingy.
Hard, but manageable.
Then we have to add shoulder shimmies too.
Folks, I was a LOST CAUSE.
There was NO WAY I could co-ordinate all that movement. Not a hope in hell.
I could see all the other people (it's women-only) smirking at my 'moves' in the mirror. I suspect they'd never witnessed such clumsiness.
And the teacher? About 20 minutes into the lesson she seemed to have lost the will to live. (Fair enough.)
She went through all the moves veeeeeeeeery slowly.
To no avail (for me anyway).
She praised the class for "the good work" at the end.
I am sure she went home to her gorgeous Latin Lover dancer boyfriend and killed herself laughing about the clunky, chunky Aussie chick whose 'Latin moves' approximately something you might see in the boxing ring. (And she wouldn't be too far wrong there)
It was exercise alright - an exercise in utter humiliation.
So that's it for my foray into the world of salsa, merengue, cha-cha - right?
Nah, call me a fool, but I'll probably go again next week.
Everyone needs a challenge, huh?
This one is BIG