I had a deep and meaningful chat with the obstetrician I saw on Tuesday. "Look," I said, "am I being naive to even wish for a VBAC, given the blood pressure issues and everything?"
His answer differed to the last obstetrician I spoke to about this matter: "No," he said, "you're not."
This pleased me a lot. We talked about risk factors, particularly the spectre of uterine rupture (at which point I got a bit upset - that's terrifying stuff).
In a nutshell, he said that (blood pressure conditions permitting) if I had the confidence to try for a natural birth then he had the confidence that there was the appropriate medical support at the hospital. Which is confidence boosting in itself.
He enquired: "How much do you want this?"
That's a good question. Here's what I know: I know I am a bit scared of what could go wrong with a VBAC; I know I am a bit scared of what could go wrong with a caesarean.
Truthfully? I am more scared of having another caesarean. (For both the post-surgical risks and the devastating recovery.) But, saying that, I am also accepting of the fact it's a very real possibility. This baby comes first. I would never do anything to risk its (and my) health by stubbornly insisting on labouring when it was dangerous.
I also know I am very curious to understand what birth is. I would like to experience it, to give my body an opportunity to do what it is designed to do. And if - if - I can achieve this I think I would feel immensely proud of myself. Is this naive? Possibly.
In the meantime, I am reading (devouring) JuJu Sundin's Birth Skills book like there's no tomorrow. It is a truly confidence building book and it's removed so much of the fear I initially had about the birth process.
It's really made me want to give a go. Here's hoping I can.
2 comments:
Labour is such a personal issue, isn't it! I really hope you get to at least try for a vbac, I don't know how you must be feeling but I do know that after being induced at 42 weeks with Amy, my biggest fear was induction this time around which was a large part of our decision to go private so I had my own Ob and a little more control over my dates. Of course, irony dictates that I got to 41 weeks and 3 days and ended up being induced anyway. Sigh. So no natural labours, no drugs or waking up in the middle of the night going "this is it" for me. That said second time around my induction was a lot easier and quicker 6 hour labour vs 46 hours! I hear the recovery is quicker from second time c-sections too. Take care and wishing you all the best!
Thanks Sarah. I've heard from people that second-time caesars do tend to be easier to recover from. This is nice to hear! But on the flipside, the OBS said the other day that a 2nd caesar carries a higher post-surgical bleed risk though ... hmmmm.
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